Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
