carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just want nice things and good sex
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
