Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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