So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
