Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My vagina just clenched in fear
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
