There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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