Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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