the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?