Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
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pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
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I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart