Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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