M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Randomize
