he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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