R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
