What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
