i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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