its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
