What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
