What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
my liver is dry heaving
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
