Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
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