East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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