why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
