Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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