I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
