i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
