I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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