I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
