You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize