can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize