I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
