Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
