Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
