I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
