Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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