D3 body, D1 cock
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize