I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
