walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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