It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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