It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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