i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
