just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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