Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
