I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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