i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
