Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants