I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
