I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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