The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
