the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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