Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
