My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
