No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
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My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
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I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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