is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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