I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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