Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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