I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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