Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently you make a good broom.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
