yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
