5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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